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Showing posts from 2011

Getting down to it and the Hero's Journey

Will I ever stop thinking up new story ideas and starting them?  No.
Will I ever put aside a new idea to write on an old one?  Yes.
Will I ever finish my first boo?  Remains to be seen.

My mind is on - dream.imagine.create - all the time.  So when I find some new idea, I have to write it down to work on later.  But does later even exist?  Dunno.  It'll be a miracle the day I finish the first chapter of Kalissa's Book and I'm satisfied enough with it to move on.  It has to be perfect.

Why?  Because this is basically my number one idea.  This was my first dream, my first world, and my first version of myself that I really continued to develop.  Kalissa is a part of me now, but the world she lives in keeps changing so much that I keep rewriting her story to fit into the world.  Really what I need to do, is find what story I want to tell, that is hers and can stay hers, and then fit the world around that.  What I'm trying to do with this book, is make it into Christian fan…

Life Doesn't Wait (for you)

I've been thinking On several things Happy for the rain So the grass is finally green I might like to go around the world Let my flags unfurl Get some wind through my hair I've been waiting far too long Time to get goin'
I'm out the door Like a snail at first I like to take things slow So I start crawling when I go Up the mountain Climb with all my might Can't be too hard, right? But after the gunshot (bang) Then I'm at the top Climbing back down the other side Didn't take me long After I figured out that Life doesn't wait (for you)
I've been exploring Beyond my usual horizons Finding a sweet new vision A new dream to dream I'm looking for a star to wish upon This quest that I'm on Calling me forward I've been waiting far too long Time to get goin'
I'm out the door Like a snail at first I like to take things slow So I start crawling when I go Up the mountain Climb with all my might But after the gunshot (bang) Then I'm at the top Climbing back down the other side D…

Got some stories!

I've now got a story started on my Wattpad and Fanfiction accounts.  It's the same story called Paladins: The First Years.  If you want to know what the story's about, go check out either, or both, of those links!  In case you hadn't noticed, I really, really love comments.  Even ones that are just saying that I misspelled something are okay because at least it was a person reading my story!!!!  I'm so psyched about this, can you tell?

I won't be regular about putting chapters up, because hey, September's almost here and wow, it is crunching down on me.  Being a senior is really going to take it out of me, so if you can, please show you're a supporter of me, and comment or vote or like or whatever.  Thanks so much!!!!

=)

Fan Fiction

I've done it. I've fallen into the web. I used to be skeptical about fan fiction, but now I'm hooked. Nobody can beat the original author's way of creating a world, but it's so much fun to romp around in them. It's awesome see, because I get to have adventures in cool places, without having to think up all the background stuff! I'm into Harry Potter still, but I'm also in a Tortall mood. I've started a story of my own, and I'll be putting it up on Wattpad, a chapter at a time. I'm so excited! I thought stories had to be extensive, but I've seen ones just about 20 pages, or 3 or 333.

This is going to be epic. I've read this one awesome fan fiction about Lily and James Potter in their seventh year of Hogwarts. It's so cool, I loved it and stayed up till like two in the morning to read it. I'm posting the link for you, seriously, if you look HP, read this!

Crossroads - a Lily James fan fic


Also, my Wattpad account -

Come Away With Me (song)

I'm here, child
Lift up your head
I'm here, now
To raise you from the dead
Reach out your hands
I'm waiting for you
Time to come to me
And live in the truth

The burdens of this life
Can weigh you down, down, down
With me by your side
You'll leave the ground, ground, ground
Open up your eyes
You'll never look down, down, down
Come be my bride
Hear the heavenly sound, sound, sound

Trust me, child
To rescue you
Trust me, now
You'll bear the fruit
Surrender to me
I'll take you to the sky
Come away with me
You don't need to cry

The burdens of this life
Can weigh you down, down, down
With me by your side
You'll leave the ground, ground, ground
Open up your eyes
Don't need to look down, down, down
Come be my bride
The heavens resound, sound, sound

(bridge)
Come away with me
Never look down
Come away with me
Never look down
Come away with me
Come be my bride
Come away with me
Live a new life

The burdens of this life
Can weigh you down
With me by your si…

a Not so Brilliant Not New Idea

I was watching part of a video of my sisters and cousins putting on yet another play they'd made up. Anyway, it made me think again about an idea for a sort of King Arthur story parody thing. Yeah, I'm such a great writer, aren't I, saying story parody thing instead of "a story using silly names for the usual characters." I could've just said that in the first place, right? Moving on.

I think it might turn into a series of stories. Do you know the Squire's Tales by Gerald Morris? I LOVE them. Witty, funny, serious at the parts it needs to be serious, just the right amount of normal romance, some magic and mysterious goings-on, ridiculous knights and chivalrous knights, sarcastic squires, unladylike ladies and more. Now you just want to run to the library or bookstore and read them, right? You'd better. They're Young Adult, but I'd recommend them to 13 and up, depending on reading strength. They're really easy for me, but I'm…

a love song that just happened

My baby cousin Annika likes it when we sing to her, so I've made up a few songs. The one I really like though, I've decided to call "Still Lovin' You." I'm going to try and remember the second verse.

Let's sing a song about love
About how very much I love you
Let's sing a song about hugs
About how I love to hug you
Let's sing a song about kisses
About how I love to kiss you
Let's sing a song about wishes
About how I love to wish upon a star
And wish you're weren't so very
Far away
And I promise every minute of
Every hour of every day
I'm still lovin' you

Hey, yeah, yeah,
Hey, yeah, yeah
Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah
Still lovin' you
(repeat)

Let's sing a song about friends
About the friends we'll always be
Let's sing a song about hands
About holding hands and feeling free
Let's sing a song about bliss
About the bliss we'll have forever
Let's sing a song about a wish
About a wish that I made about two heart

Mystic's Dream - Loreena McKennitt

A clouded dream on an earthly night
Hangs upon the crescent moon
A voiceless song in an ageless light
Sings at the coming dawn
Birds in flight are calling there
where the heart moves the stones
there that my heart is longing for 
Calling for, for the love of you

A painting hangs on an ivy wall
Nestled in the emerald moss
The eyes declare a truce of trust
then it draws me far away
deep in the desert twilight
Sand melts in pools of the sky
darkness lays her crimson cloak
lamps will call, call me home

And so it's there my homage's due
Clutched by the still of the night
now I feel, feel you move
And every breath, breath is full
So it's there my homage's due
Clutched by the still of the night
Even the distance feels so near 
All for, for the love of you

A clouded dream on an earthly night
Hangs upon the crescent moon
A voiceless song in an ageless light
Sings at the coming dawn
Birds in flight are calling there
Where the heart moves the stones 
there that my heart is longin…

Reflections of a 17-year-old (something i wrote for Teen Ink)

Warning! This will probably be offensive to some people: READ ANYWAY.

I am a Christian. I am a girl and I am 17. I have a very strong opinion that does change when I talk to people, or read others' opinions. I've read many atheist articles, and every time I read one, I try to leave a comment on what I believe, to present the opposite argument. It's hard to give a clear cut opinion when you're responding just to one thing some random person pointed out to you, so I'm going to try and give it here.

First off, I chose my belief. My mom and dad are both Christians, though they didn't grow up in Christian homes. They raised me to be a Christian, but I ultimately choose everything that I believe in. You can't force someone to believe in anything, it is everyone's own choice. I choose to believe in God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and the Bible. Other people have influences on me too, friends, friends' parents, family who aren't believe…

Never Truly Die - a tribute to Dumbledore, a brilliant author's creation

As green leaves brighten bare branches of trees
As the sunshine brightens the day
So the ones who leave us
Never truly fade away

As rain replenishes dry soil in the fields
As the moon sits in the sky
So too the ones we love
Will never truly die

Though their bodies stay in the earth
Lying still and grey
Love given to them continues
No one can take it away

As seasons will come and go
And the clouds sit in the sky
So those whom we remember
Will never truly die
They never truly die

My very allegorical history of the Jani

The Creator, Ryntawae, made the world. He created life and placed it on the world. He designed everything to his satisfaction. Ryntawae also created beings to help him with his work. He gave small powers to these beings and called them Svindar. The Svindar were like messengers to the people who lived on the earth. The people tended it, and harvested the fruit from their work. The people were happy and they worshipped the creator.
But then one of the Svindar decided that he was better than the people who worked the earth, and he asked Ryntawae why the Svindar served the people. He thought that he should not have to serve the people. He said that the Svindar were higher beings, and should be be defiled by serving people lower than themselves.
But the people were confused. This rebellion against Ryntawae was unthought-of. Some of the people started to think of going their own way, and not worshipping the Creator. So, the people split; those who worshipped Ryntawae staye…

Story idea: Spy Princess

Lia was born blind. Her unseeing eyes are a startling shade of blue, so most think she can see. With the way she acts, you would almost never know. Lia's other senses are extra sensitive; it's like she doesn't even need her sight. She's a spy for an organization that works under the city, called Bluestone. Every member wears a pendant of lapis lazuli around their neck, hidden beneath their shirt. Bluestone works for the king. Lia spies in the streets, and the palace corridors. King Gerdal is contemplating what to do about their neighboring kingdom of Razdor. The king there has been trading unfairly and stealing money from Gerdal. Finally, when the Razdorians start to attack Carsa, Gerdal has no choice but declare war on Razdor. Lia has always thought of Bluestone headquarters as a safe haven, but now they are turned into a military group, spies becoming soldiers. Feeling alone, instead of staying in the city, she ventures out to where the enemy is camped an…

Writing, not writing, and the future

Between age 14ish and today, I've changed my mind a whole lot about what I want to do when I'm an adult. I thought I would have a ranch and teach therapeutic riding. I still love riding, but my mind is far from where it was. Although I'd still like to live near a forest and a waterfall, my aspirations have gone in a direction I never imagined they'd go. My passion is creative writing.

As long as I can remember, I've struggled with writing. I could never make the words flow across the page as they did in my mind. My reports and essays stunk, and well, still stink. Do you ever make up a character for yourself and put yourself into a book or movie? I do that a lot, and the stories I was creating became more like my own than fan-fiction. My brilliant mom suggested to me that I should try writing it out. Me being me, I shrugged and protested but finally sat down in front of my laptop and started to write.

The paragraphs that came out of my fingers were no…

New ideas

Hey!

I've been writing this one book for two years now, and guess what? I'm still on the first chapter! This is what happened. I wrote 20 really short chapters that basically were telling three separate stories that had no connection whatsoever. I really want to write a trilogy, and the first book is supposed to be from the main character's perspective and only from her perspective. So, I took a 6 month break from the book before coming back and writing a new first chapter. I had changed the story a lot, changed how I wanted my heroine to get from point A to point B to point C, and changed the secondary characters. I liked it, but it wasn't right.

So I rewrote it again. I need this book to be as close to perfect as I can get it. This is like my life book. I'm basically writing my own story if I lived in a fantasy world. I couldn't get it to come out right, because I wasn't willing to change it into something more flexible and ultimately go for …

My Fantasy Names (girls then boys)

Alphabetical:
Alliss
Amerina
Ariana
Arwhenyn
Ayliss
Carlenne
Daine
Eerssi
Eriana
Essna
Heyla
Jamae
Jayda
Kailin
Kalissa
Karlie
Keralie
Kesasti
Kieri
Kimrissi
Kyrilana
Latalense
Lia
Lienbouri
Lienel
Linliss
Lira
Lisszara
Lynissa
Lyssina
Mendai
Minrissie
Miranie
Mlinae
Nimala
Palamen
Raea
Raini
Riani
Rianliss
Rynessa
Rynessaree
Sarani
Sarria
Sayahven
Seyla
Sirilana
Taissel
Tannia
Tinissa
Titina
Vindina



Alphabetical:
Alfdan
Azamin
Barak
Chid
Darit
Darsh
Darza
Dranzed
Erisin
Etean
Fanit
Ferain
Fernin
Forrn
Gek
Gelt
Gerdal
Gragool
Grah
Gurgaran
Henmar
Honan
Irin
Jailano
Jesskan
Kem
Koro
Linden
Login
Morren
Naban
Naru
Neeso
Ragon
Remt
Rimner
Serenji
Telleaf
Terrin
Terlen
Teyal
Timal
Tiren
Unim
Vector
Vex
Yendan
Zendu

Awesome Pictures

Image
These are all from artist Josephine Wall. She is absolutely incredible. Check out her website for more amazing paintings. I love almost all of her art. The colors, the shapes, the subjects, the fantasy, the magic, the glowing - http://www.josephinewall.co.uk/breathtaking.

What Now?

So, I've kinda run out of poems, since I've posted more than one a day, and I haven't been writing them these past two weeks. I'm pondering on what exactly I should put up next. I would really like to have some contests for different types of poetry. I dunno what I could offer as a prize more than posting it up here and say how how the person is. I'll have to get the word out on Facebook and other places.

In the meantime, I've got this thing post that can count for today addition to a very poem-based writing blog. I'll get some stories and story starts up here. Ooh! Awesome idea moment! I always love cool names, so if you have an idea for a character's name, please comment. I haven't got much more to say other than that, so I'll close and post something tomorrow if I can.

What You Are To Me

Whispered thoughts at midnight
Holding hands in the starlight
A hug for goodbye
The way you catch my eye
It's all this and more

Every touch, every word
You make smiles fill my world
Everything you do
Everything you are
You make me love you

Secret smiles just for me
You mean everything to me
The sunshine in my sky
I feel like I can fly
It's all this and more

Every touch, every word
You make smiles fill my world
Everything you do
Everything you are
You make me love you

Arms wrapped around me
It's my favorite place to be
Such sweet embrace
The way you touch my face
It's all this and more



I wrote this song for my friends(almost family) Christian and Victoria when they got engaged. They're married now, but I still think of it as their song. It even has music for it, simple, of course.

The Maiden Fair

The wind does whisper through the fair green woods
Where ever the violets do grow
And forth went a maiden to gather said bloom
Where breezes gently do blow
Skipping she went fair as a rose
Off to a vale she while singing
There she found to heart’s delight
The beauty of purple blossoming
And back home again to weave with her flowers
To make lovely crown for her hair
The vale left behind sighed in pleasure
As off went the maiden fair


This was supposed to be a kind of folk-song for one of my stories. I don't think it's very good.

A Night For Dancing (Dancing With Faeries

It's a night for dancing
When the moon and stars are smiling at me
The grass is slippery beneath my feet
Rain has just come to wash nature clean

The river has risen and churns over the fall
When I shout it's still hard to hear myself
My laughter echoes with the mirth of happy trees
They shake their leaves dry in the wind

It's a night for dancing
When the forest is quiet and still
All creatures are asleep in their beds
Watched over by the dusk turning to dark

The air is still for a moment
Then it whirls around me
Pulling the ribbons from my hair
Tugging at my dress for a dance

It's a night for dancing
Dancing with the faeries
They whisper in their hollows
They sing from the tops of trees

It's a night for frolicking
For tip-toeing through the glade
When the mist of twilight floats over the ground
Moss makes it soft for your feet

I have always wanted to see the faeries
I see the sparkles from their magic
I hear their silvery laughter
Once I even touched a faerie's…

Life Is ~ The Stones Under My Feet

Life is the stones under my feet
All the places I've walked
All the places I haven't
They say something about who I am
The pebbles that I pick up to toss in the ocean
The boulders I've sat on
The skipping stones I throw across the lake
Gravel and sand
And cobblestone streets
Places with history
Places where history is about to be written
And what it has to say for my history
All those stones that I've crunched
Under my boots
Or sandals
Or sneakers
Or just my bare feet
Walking carefully
And there occasionally is a piece of glass
When I cut myself I bleed
But I heal in the end
Then I get up to walk on more stones
Because life is where you choose to walk
And where you don't

Life Is ~ The Color of Your Eyes (for Shannie)

Life is the color of your eyes
The way they shine at me
When you laugh or when you cry
Your blue eyes
Like Saturday skies
With a touch of clouds
And we lay in the grass in summer
Contemplating the meaning of life
I see your eyes above me
In the color of your eyes
They tell me you love me
They tell me it's all right
Everything is not always okay
But with you, it is
I see those blue irises that dance in the light
And the burdens can lift from my shoulders
The sparkle of joy when we dance in the rain
The downcast of grey when you experience sadness
And then I am there for you
Life is the color of your eyes
Because you share it with me

Just Take Me Away

Just take me dancing
Get me out of here
Take me away from this house
And its familiar atmosphere
I want to find a sunny day
Bring me to a quiet place
Where we can dance together
With sun shining on my face

Just take me dancing
Give me some fresh air
Turn me loose
And I'll let down my hair
I want to find myself
Where I make this a happy day
Take me to the open fields
Before I fade away

Just take my hands
Lead me and I'll follow
Give me strength
To make it to tomorrow
In that quiet place
Where nobody talks
Time just disappears
With the ticking of the clock

Just take me dancing
Just take me away
Give me a place
Where I won't fade away
Someplace I can stay
There I will find my sunny day
©

I am a Dragon

I am a dragon
I am lightning and fire
I am the soul in the wind
I am silent
I am a roar
I am stone and water
I am cloud and dust
I am majesty
I am thunder with wings
I am silver
I am gold
I am clay
I am diamond
I am a dragon.

Night and Morning (Out My Window)

I looked out my window
And gazed at the stars
They shimmered and glowed
Although off so far
I reached out my hand
As if to caress
Before I reached back
And laid down to rest

I closed my eyes
And fell into sleep
Dreamed of summer skies
And birds that peep
The breezes that rustle
Through the trees
And the bustle
Of busy honeybees

I awoke next morning
And saw the sunrise
Rosy light cavorting
Across the pale blue sky
I stretched and arose
And kissed the new air
Peeked out my window
Wind played with my hair

Which is more lovely
The night or day?
Which deserves more loving
I cannot say
I love how sun
Smiles with light
But I love how the moon
Kisses me goodnight

Whether asleep
Or if I am awake
I gaze and dream
At stars or dawn break
Both fascinate me
Both have their charm
Night is cooling
Morning keeps me warm

I looked out my window
And gazed at the sky
The blue was deepening
Time to close my eyes

I close my eyes

What I Won't Ask You

Were I to ask you to dance
Dance with me under the moon
Nobody's watching
Just the stars in the sky
What would you say?

Were I to ask you to walk
Walk with me along the dry creek bed
Nobody's watching
Just the crickets in the grass
What would you say?

It would be a different feeling
Something before never expressed
A leap, a jump
A stuttering sentence
That I try to tell you with all of my heart

Were I to ask you to climb
Climb with me up to the clouds
Nobody's watching
Just the birds in the trees
What would you say?

This is a place we've never reached
Something never indicated
A tiny smile, pressing hands
A timid word
That I try to tell you with all of my heart

I won't ask you to dance
I won't ask you to walk
I won't ask you to climb
It would change us
The way we are

I'll just keep our words safe in my mind
Not clutch them in my heart
I don't want to kill our love
Our love so innocent
Pure, the way we are
You are just my brother
I'll keep you th…

Why I Write

If I write to inspire, do I really dare believe?
If it's only my opinion, do I still try to succeed?
If all I wanted was the pats on the back
I should take it all back
And go back
To the beginning

If I write to expand on a point, do I really think what I say?
If it's only my fingers venting on the keys, do I really want to stay?
If all I want is to get out
I should back out
And head out
To another place

If I write to share joy, do I really feel that joy inside?
If it's only an act, do I really need the exercise?
If all I wanted was to give a fake smile
I should take back the smile
And smile
For real next time

If I write because the Spirit is in my hands
I write to give encouragement
I write to share the blessing
Share the peace
If I write because joy and inspiration are in my fingers
Then I write with a purpose
Write with a reason
I write to give meaning
To those endless every days
The endless same pace
The meaningless ways to fade

If I write because He tells me to
Then I …

Words for a Poem

It's hard to force a poem
It's hard to find the words
When you most need them
When you're disturbed
It's hard reach the switch
Of the light bulb in your brain
When you're searching through
Your back files
For happy memories to block the pain
It's hard to pick up the pencil
And make the sounds come out right
Make the flowing lines of script
Echo back in the night
It's hard to give description
Of that single thought in time
When the words came through so fast
Then they've gone from your mind
It's hard to catch the shadows
That creep in your dreams
The subtle hints of color
Like coffee and the cream
It's hard to find the picture
Of what you want to say
When the words that you're looking for
Just seem to fade away
Right when you set your hands
Upon the empty page
Your fingers want to roll with feelings
But instead there you sit
And stare
And age

An Abstract Life

Unseen
Broken and covered with blood
Ashes floating like tears over the embers
Of the forgotten fire
Hands dirty
Soiled with shame and anger
Mud of past lust under fingernails

In between
The lies that seek to kill us from behind
The truth that tries to set us free in front
And the aimless shadows falling away
Heart-shaped pebbles ground under our feet
The skies black with dread
And dying dreams

Covered up
The scratch of the wool blanket
Dust and old china
The boxes and bins of lifeless furniture
Waiting to be used again
In the attics sitting cold
Dull mirrors with stories to tell
Ones you don't want to hear

Worn down
The pages with ink in spidery hand
The cover torn
Threadbare socks on weary feet
Swinging door creaks on rusty hinges
Snow falling off boots
As they stomp and try to find warmth

And you find that the fire's gone out
No more wood
You shiver in the empty house
With mud of past lust under fingernails
And dying dreams
Stories you don't want to hear

It's just t…

This World Here

Are you happy living here in the desolation?
I'm not
This world with darkened skies
The bluff we wear as our disguise
To hide the shame that blinds our eyes

Are you happy living here in destruction?
I'm not
The battle that we fight in blood
Surrounded by spectators' mud
And covered over by the flood

I'm not happy living here in this waste
This struggling, dying, gruesome place
I want to shout out for a better land
For in the end that what I'll have
I'm carried in the Savior's hand

Are you happy living now in separation?
I'm not
This world that teaches us no fear
In the shadows lust is near
The groping hands of temptation are here

Are you happy living now with speculation?
I'm not
What will happen in the end?
Will you be betrayed by your friend?
How next will life make you bend?

Jesus fights this battle
He's won the fight
He'll take you out of the night
Take us up to eternal light
Are you happy living here in endless sorrow?
Find Jesus, he&#…

You Are Like Summer - for Shannie Girl

Ripples are like clocks
And daisies are like spots of sunshine
Fireflies are like glimpses of hope
And blushes on your cheek
Like the first rose that opens to the heat of June

A summer sky is like happiness
And a full moon is like perfect pearl
Sapphires are like your eyes
And the glint of mischief that sparkles
Like a light on a stream betrays ordinary stones

Books are like doors
And blank pages like new mornings
Hummingbirds are like children laughing
And the touch of your fingers
Like the touch of petals on my legs in the meadow

It Doesn't Matter (just wrote this)

It doesn't matter about expectations
Forget about previous failures
Or limitations
This is too big for hesitations
Reach out
With falling comes realization
Knowing what you have and are
Gives you reason for celebration
God does the rest
You are his creation

It doesn't matter what people tell you
This a thorn bush you have to push through
A knot of lies you have to undo
Remember who made you
How you were frail
How you grew
How you would fail
How you knew
He was the one to save you
He gave you love and mercy too

It doesn't matter what is your perception
This world has so many deceptions
They'll kill you with clever conceptions
First they treat you with affection
Like you're an exception
But it's all fake and soon
You'll face rejection
Cast out of their collection
Looking for a new direction

What matters is that God is amazing
Look how he's raising you back from the dead
You needed saving
So now you're praising
The King and Savior
Jesus, God, Holy Spi…

We Are (based on 1 Peter 2:9)

There is a difference
Inside of you and me
A flame of holy spirit
Our responsibility
There is job for those of us
Who have been given life
We are to be ambassadors
For those who live to die

We are a holy people
Standing out in the night
We are to be the beacon
Leading the lost to the light
We are to raise the banner
So all the people can see
We are to be the soldiers
Setting the captives free

This is the mission
That God left for us to do
Hold the ones who struggle
Bring them to the truth
We are to face the world
With Jesus at our head
Demons will flee before him
Leaving us with the dead

We are a holy people
Standing out in the night
We are to be the beacon
Leading the lost to the light
We are to raise the banner
So all the people can see
We are to be the soldiers
Setting the captives free

Will we continue to fight
Against the rising darkness?
Will we resist the devil's ploys
And refuse to be marked?
We can withstand any trial
With the help of our Lord
He has already freed us
Now …

Falling Down is Falling High

Did I ever think before
That the one thing that would keep me from dying
Should be not climbing high
Or searching, dreaming or finding a way to fly
The one thing to make me strong
Stronger than I could ever be on my own
Would not in my way or up ways or sideways
But only by putting aside offered crowns
Only by falling down

Falling down
Though the darkness seems forever
Falling down
Though uncertainty clings like a fetter
Through the cold and wind
And voices that never end
You want to close your eyes
But by falling down
You are falling high

It's so hard to measure truth
And keep it in your pocket tied down so it can't come loose
All the things you want more
Burning your hands on the key of the door
The entrance to paradise
How could I ever think twice
And look around to this way and that way and other ways
Oh please throw away all past crowns
Open the door and fall down

Falling down
Though the darkness seems forever
Falling down
Though uncertainty clings like a fetter
Through …

Give It Back

I'm failing
but I won't 
give it back
give it up
I'm falling
why can't I just
give it back
give it up

I'm losing
cause I won't
give it back 
give it up
I'm refusing
yes I am to
give it back 
give it up

I'm too stubborn
to ask for help
when I need it
I'm too proud
to grip the hand
when I feel it

I keep ignoring all the signs
I'm walking blind
killing time
when really I'm just killing myself

I need to give it back
need to give it up
take the hand that wants
to help me back up
need to give it all back
give it all up
I live life better
whenever
I'm in His hands

I'm toughing 
it out
won't give it back 
give it up
I'm bluffing
really gotta
give it back
give it up

I'm wanting
in need to 
give it back
give it up
I'm haunted
by the desire to
give it back 
give it up

I'm too stubborn
to ask for help
when I need it
I'm too proud
to grip the hand
when I feel it

I keep ignoring all the signs
I'm walking blind
killing t…

Give You My Heart

What am I Lord?
That you give me that which is yours
What am I Lord?
That you make me as reborn
I am nothing, I have nothing to give
Save my heart

I’ll give you my heart
I’ll give you my soul
With all my strength, Lord
I’ll give you my whole
To be used by your will Lord,
To be used in your plan
Here I am

Take me as you find me,
Keep me strong
Take me as you find me,
With you I can
Do anything that you see fit to bring about
In you my Lord,
I can have no doubts

I’ll give you my heart
I’ll give you my soul
With all my strength, Lord
I’ll give you my whole
To be used as you will Lord
To be used in your plan
Here I am

You are the Water

The water is beautiful
But it seems out of reach
I want to touch it
Want it to touch me

The water is amazing
Quenches every thirst
I want to drink it
Even if it hurts

Let me near the water
Let it heal me
I want the water
Now I can see
If I have the water
Nothing else can be
Quite as beautiful
You, You are the water
You are beautiful

The water is beautiful
And I know it's for me
I walk toward the water
I want to be cleaned

The water is amazing
Heals every pain
Let it flow over me
Dissolve my chains

Let me near the water
Let it heal me
I want the water
Now I can see
If I have the water
Nothing else can be
Quite as beautiful
You, You are the water
You are beautiful
©

In My Eyes You are White

All I can see is darkness
All I can see is pain
Beyond the endless emptiness
A dry land hungers for rain
All I can see is black
And ashes of a broken soul
A lifeless heart 
That longs to be made whole

A cry and a prayer
As I fall down
Dust in my eyes
And hands on the ground
And I hear You say

In my eyes you are white
You are covered with blood of the son
In my eyes you are white
Forgiven and given salvation
In my eyes you are clean
Washed in the death of a lamb
In my eyes you are living
Resurrected by the son of man

All I can see is light
A blinding shining sun
Radiant holiness
Cast by the Three in One
All I can see is white
Not a trace of empty land
Everything is beautiful
And covered with Your hand

A cry and a prayer
And I fall 
Hiding my face
Humbled by it all
And I hear You say

In my eyes you are white
You are covered with blood of the son
In my eyes you are white
Forgiven and given salvation
In my eyes you are clean
Washed in the death of a lamb
In my eyes you are living
Resurrec…

My Mind

Step into the study of my mind
Follow me or you're walking blind
The ribbons of road are rarely clear
Just make sure you are always here

Don't expect to walk through fine
It's not written paths, just broken lines
Music's crooning and drums beat low
Watch your step and take it slow

Rainbows collide
On thin twisted lines
And skyscraper heights
Risky flights
Pull you higher
Pull you on
On and on and on

It's chaos in the most extreme
Colors and shapes in flying heaps
Bits of thought and memories
Sneak through cracks with practiced ease

There used to be files on shelves in rooms
Now there's cobwebs and dust and gloom
Curving hallways lead you away
But watch the turns or else you'll stray

It's not like anything
It's more than nothing
But nobody sees
'Cause I don't sell the key
Just come higher
Just come on
On and on and on

If you want to be my friend
Fight through the shadows to the end
Come bearing strength and the sword of truth
Though it's …

Elevator People

Today it was a revelation
As I stood and watched on the faces
Of those standing beside me
Life in all its forms

In the glowing joyous face of the young husband
Trembling
Newly made a father

On the somber pensive face of the woman
Middle-aged, tired, wearying
Recently jobless

In the sparkling eyes of the fresh-from-college
Girl, ready to defend and defy
Now a young lawyer

On the hollow cheeks of the old man
Bent and tired
Without his helpmeet

In the curious eyes of the small boy
Grasping a hand
A year older

On the plump cheeks of the newborn
She giggles
Just brought into the world

I stood watching these faces
Pass by
Pass through
Their bodies alternately
Singing, dancing, crying, shaking,
Rising, falling, leaping, tottering,
Stepping forward
In and out
These faces of life that hum with fire and with ashes
Elevator People

Ordinary Girl

I am just an ordinary girl
Living in a kind of extraordinary world
Chasing dreams to find the other side
Breathing hope and hoping not to be left behind
As the hurricane around me
Spins and twist so fast
Who I was or who I am
Isn't, cause nothing seems to last

Maybe it's an ordinary world
And I am not an ordinary girl
The dreams I chase aren't on the other side
The hope I breathe has already left me behind
And the hurricane around me
Has spun its final round
Who I was and who I am
All comes crashing down

I think am an ordinary girl
I think this could just be an ordinary world
Dreams can be chased to find another side
And hope will wait and not leave me behind
Still the hurricane around me
Moves through life the same
Who I was now who I am
Struggling to remain

Just an ordinary girl
In her ordinary world

To Be Without You

To be without you
Is like standing in a wasted land
To be without you
It feels so cold out from under your hand
To stand alone
Is to fall with no one to help
Heal the hurt

To be without you
Is like falling down
Into the dust
Into the mud
To be without you
Is like lying dead and brown
In the ashes
In the blood

I've been without you
I've been alone
I've stood in the wasted land
I've felt the cold
I know the feeling
Of falling and hurting
Of crying and pleading
Of comforting and healing
I don't want to be without you

To be without you
Is like to be without the rain
To be without you
Is like always feeling pain
To be alone
Is to feel the fear that has no name
Crushed and battered

To be without you
Is like falling down
Into the dust
Into the mud
To be without you
Is like lying dead and brown
In the ashes
In the blood

I've been without you
I've been alone
I've stood in the wasted land
I've felt the cold
I know the feeling
Of falling and hurting
Of cr…

Dancing Tonight [one of the few (secular) love songs I've written

It's a perfect night
Sky is clear and moon is bright
Crickets chirp in the background
My footsteps silent on the ground
Shadows on the wall
I tiptoe out the garden gate
Around the bend is where you wait
We run across the lane
Into the fields as the rain
Starts to fall

Together with the music of the night
We'll dance forever in the moonlight

I will dance in your arms tonight
You'll spin me around and then hold me tight
Under the stars
As you hold my heart
Dancing, dancing tonight

A crack of light pierces the dark
The morning I know is about to start
You slow, I stop
My hands you drop
Our dance is broken
I bow my head and turn away
Because I know the coming day
Needs to find this dancing field
Empty so I yield
Though my heart is broken

But then you touch my hand
Whisper in my ear,
That we'll dance again

I will dance in your arms tonight
You'll spin me around and then hold me tight
Under the stars
As you hold my heart
Dancing, dancing tonight

We parted ways and I sa…

You're Family

So, you're kinda special to me

Not sure how you could miss the attacking hugs
And my crazy attitude
Or how I sometimes blow you off
Then act like you're the best person in the world
'Cause in that particular moment in time
You are

You're more than a friend to me

Not sure how you could miss my familiar talk
I say, "I love you"
And I mean it
But I mean it in the right way
For right now

You're like my favorite book

Not sure how you would react if I said that to you
But I mean that I love to read you
And pour over your pages
And devour the words you say
Your cover in worn with how many times I've handled it
But it's still beautiful

Is there a name for this wacked-out deal of a friendship?
Probably not, and I'm not going to make one up
Just know that you're family to me
And then everything's all right

Life Rhythm Song(chant)

(You keep this rhythm going during the song: tap, clap, snap, clap)

Where do you go when the going gets tough?
Do you keep on going?
How do you cope when things get rough?
Do you start a slowing?

Tap, clap, snap, clap(2x)

What do you do when life takes a turn
To where you don't want to be?
What do you do when you go downhill
Downhill at blistering speeds?

Tap, clap, snap, clap(2x)

Do you stand and fight?
Or do you run away?
Tap, clap, snap, clap(2x)
Do you stand and fight?
Do you have the strength to stay?

Tap, clap, snap, clap(2x)

What do you do when life goes wrong
Upside-down and sideways?
Where do you turn to not fall down
Keeping doubt at bay?

Tap, clap, snap, clap(2x)

How do you find the stepping stones
In the rushing water?
How do you keep your feelings calm
And your face from turning hotter?

Tap, clap, snap, clap(2x)

Do you stand and fight?
Or do you just lie down?
Tap, clap, snap, clap(2x)
Do you keep your feet?
Can you stand your ground?

Tap, clap, snap, clap(2x)

I'…

What Is? God Is

Here I am
Is this day?
Am I here?
Or fading away?
What is life?
Am I alive?
What is death?
How will I die?
What is need?
Is there resistance?
What is strife?
Is there persistence?
What is evil?
What is good?
What is if?
And what is should?

What is God?

God is here
God is day
He put us here
Then takes us away
He gave us life
We are alive
When there is death
We need not die
Dark is the need
There is resistance
We will face strife
And ask for persistence
Satan is evil
God is good
Now is if
Believing is should
God is everything that we are not
God is eternal but the earth will rot
God is pain taken away
God is love given every day

Where is control?
Is there pain?
What does it mean?
Do we feel shame?
Can we breathe?
Can we fall?
Do we continue?
Or meet the wall?
Is there joy?
What is grieving?
Is there love?
What is receiving?
What is right?
What is wrong?
What is now?
What is gone?

What is God?

God has control
God felt our pain
He knows what it means
He covers our shame
God is our breath

A Friend

a friend is like a reed
bending and waving
an oak tree
standing strong

a chocolate ice cream cone
on a hot day
a fresh picked strawberry
still warm from the sun

a friend is like book
worn and read over and over
a favorite pair of shoes
worn and walked in

a hot fudge sundae
with rainbow sprinkles
a steaming cup of cocoa
with marshmallows 

a friend is like a waterfall
giving again and again
quenching thirst
cooling tongues

an orange lily
white rose
yellow daisy
purple iris

a friend is like a green leaf
fresh and bright
a blanket of snow
with footprints all over

a fingerprint on my heart
smiles to keep me going
a hug when I need it
or when I don't

a friend cannot be
described exactly
but I hope that
I've done alright

Little Laptops - Little People

Little laptops on a skyscraper
Little laptops made of silly putty
Little laptops on the sidewalk
And they all look just the same
There's a Dell one, and an HP one
And a Gateway and a Toshiba
And they're all made out of silly putty
And they all look just the same

All the people in the skyscrapers
All the people on the sidewalks
They're all made of silly putty
And they all type on the laptops
They walk and they talk
While they type on their laptops
Little people, little laptops
And they all look just the same

There are secretaries, and there's paper-pushers
And accountants and managers
And they all sit in cubicles
Staring at screens all day
There's a Dell on and an HP one
And a Gateway and a Toshiba
And they're all made out of silly putty
And they all look just the same

Little laptops in the skyscrapers
Little laptops on the sidewalks
Set on desks or inside bags
Of the busy little people
They went to the university
To make something of their life
But now they typ…

Two Friends for Tea

Dear Aberjab, he said to me,
"When do want me to come to tea?
I'll bring rhubarb, shall we sit by the sea?"
I gave to him a wave
And for a reply I curtsied
Smiled, and skipped on my way.

The morning was bright and fair
Warm breezes brushed through my hair
As I skipped down the path to nowhere
I hummed a little verse
About a little bear
As I jumped a puddle and held my skirts

Flowers grew along the way
Showing happy faces to the day
Turned heads to me as if to say,
"Good morning! How are you?
It's been long since we had a play."
I answered well and knew it was the truth

At my own cottage I plucked a bloom
Stuck it in my hair and picked up the broom
I needed to sweep and clean my room
For mother was coming
I need be ready by afternoon
So I worked while humming

And dear Aberjab, he came up the walk
Just at the chiming of the clock
Bearing with him several a stalk
Of rhubarb for me to make my tarts
I thanked him and asked him talk
He gave me a smile that warmed…

An Abstract Heart

Sink into the weightless
That floating room of bubbles
They kiss your cheeks
See those rainbows that dash against
Your heart and cut your chest
Like ice crystals
That shed blood
Just like the new day
When the sun rises to touch the stars
That fade into the everlasting

Glide on the frozen creeks
The stones that jar your footsteps
So no one even knows of your crossing
And the snowflakes melt
As soon as they reach the
Roaring fire of the underneath
The jagged gaping hole
Where secrets lie buried
Under gravestones
That rest on quiet hillsides
Where no one seems to wander

Pierce the glass wall
And watch the shards come tumbling down
Will they thank you
That you've set them free?
The tiny snow globes that rise on
Currents of the sea
They carry your dreams away
So as far as you look
You can't look back
Torrents prevent the awakening
On the thin shields of war inside
Don't forget!

Now in the ever after
Waiting for the sunset
Let the glow of lava melt your
Metal limbs
You can…

Dream

It was a crimson moon
On velvet tapestry
The stitched work of countless stars
Out there for all to see
It was a golden peach
Dancing on the sky
Rippling as a tiny pebble
Skipped merrily on by

It was an ancient book
Raw open in the weather
And many rings of ages past
That greeted passing feather
It was a tiny bead
On thin stretched silver string
Sparkles of a pastime slow
In candlelight, glimmering

It was an etched heart
Piercing song of oak
Just to show the girl
How tenderly he spoke
It was a fading light
Gave way to mist's rare gleam
In marshes thick or valley rich
My savoring, my dream

Teasing

When you think of it
You'd better write it down
Because poems just appear

Poems
Will spontaneously pop into your mind
And splash onto your hands
The drops of water wet your feet
And you're halfway in

Sometimes they only trickle down your throat
Ever…so…slowly…quenching…your…thirst…
..._
... _
... _

Sometimes they play hide-and-seek
Or peek-a-boo
Whispering the first line
So that your thoughts are fixed upon it
You can't concentrate on anything else
Until you find the rest of that poem

Oftentimes it isn't satisfactory
That first line or verse was so perfect
But perhaps it seemed lonely
So you added to it
But those lines didn't come from the well in your soul

They didn't even trickle...down...your...throat
The water is sour and doesn't stop your thirst
Is it to go unquenched?
...
~~~
...
Sometimes
Poems just make you wait
They tantalize you
Dangle you on a string
And make muddy footprints in your brain

It can be frustrating
But to be a poet
Is to kn…

Conversation of Salvation

How can Jesus love me?

I’m a sick cracked up piece of junk
I’m an old torn tire in the trunk
I’m a failure
I don’t even care
I’m wasted and don’t even wear
The hope of a ray of sunshine

I’m nobody’s friend and a friend I am not
I ignore any help and I’m left here to rot
I’m a liar I’m a thief I’m a rat in the sewer stream
No wonder I make my soul scream
I’m a murderer of love I’m always in disguise
My life is a pile of lies

Have I ever truly once meant to give myself away?
And what do I even have to give?
I don’t even know if I posses a heart
Just trying to find it I’m tearing myself apart
I’m no success just leave me in the dust
Leave me here to rust
I’m not worth anything


Listen to me
You are not worthless
Would I create something like that?
This is how you describe yourself?
Why do you throw your life away?
How can I love you?
Because I made you
You are mine
I died for you


How can Jesus love me?
I'm a dreamer who's proud
I'd rather be loud
In sin
Than be holy
I'm …