Showing posts from July, 2011

Reflections of a 17-year-old (something i wrote for Teen Ink)

Warning! This will probably be offensive to some people: READ ANYWAY.

I am a Christian. I am a girl and I am 17. I have a very strong opinion that does change when I talk to people, or read others' opinions. I've read many atheist articles, and every time I read one, I try to leave a comment on what I believe, to present the opposite argument. It's hard to give a clear cut opinion when you're responding just to one thing some random person pointed out to you, so I'm going to try and give it here.

First off, I chose my belief. My mom and dad are both Christians, though they didn't grow up in Christian homes. They raised me to be a Christian, but I ultimately choose everything that I believe in. You can't force someone to believe in anything, it is everyone's own choice. I choose to believe in God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and the Bible. Other people have influences on me too, friends, friends' parents, family who aren't believe…

Never Truly Die - a tribute to Dumbledore, a brilliant author's creation

As green leaves brighten bare branches of trees
As the sunshine brightens the day
So the ones who leave us
Never truly fade away

As rain replenishes dry soil in the fields
As the moon sits in the sky
So too the ones we love
Will never truly die

Though their bodies stay in the earth
Lying still and grey
Love given to them continues
No one can take it away

As seasons will come and go
And the clouds sit in the sky
So those whom we remember
Will never truly die
They never truly die

My very allegorical history of the Jani

The Creator, Ryntawae, made the world. He created life and placed it on the world. He designed everything to his satisfaction. Ryntawae also created beings to help him with his work. He gave small powers to these beings and called them Svindar. The Svindar were like messengers to the people who lived on the earth. The people tended it, and harvested the fruit from their work. The people were happy and they worshipped the creator.
But then one of the Svindar decided that he was better than the people who worked the earth, and he asked Ryntawae why the Svindar served the people. He thought that he should not have to serve the people. He said that the Svindar were higher beings, and should be be defiled by serving people lower than themselves.
But the people were confused. This rebellion against Ryntawae was unthought-of. Some of the people started to think of going their own way, and not worshipping the Creator. So, the people split; those who worshipped Ryntawae staye…

Story idea: Spy Princess

Lia was born blind. Her unseeing eyes are a startling shade of blue, so most think she can see. With the way she acts, you would almost never know. Lia's other senses are extra sensitive; it's like she doesn't even need her sight. She's a spy for an organization that works under the city, called Bluestone. Every member wears a pendant of lapis lazuli around their neck, hidden beneath their shirt. Bluestone works for the king. Lia spies in the streets, and the palace corridors. King Gerdal is contemplating what to do about their neighboring kingdom of Razdor. The king there has been trading unfairly and stealing money from Gerdal. Finally, when the Razdorians start to attack Carsa, Gerdal has no choice but declare war on Razdor. Lia has always thought of Bluestone headquarters as a safe haven, but now they are turned into a military group, spies becoming soldiers. Feeling alone, instead of staying in the city, she ventures out to where the enemy is camped an…

Writing, not writing, and the future

Between age 14ish and today, I've changed my mind a whole lot about what I want to do when I'm an adult. I thought I would have a ranch and teach therapeutic riding. I still love riding, but my mind is far from where it was. Although I'd still like to live near a forest and a waterfall, my aspirations have gone in a direction I never imagined they'd go. My passion is creative writing.

As long as I can remember, I've struggled with writing. I could never make the words flow across the page as they did in my mind. My reports and essays stunk, and well, still stink. Do you ever make up a character for yourself and put yourself into a book or movie? I do that a lot, and the stories I was creating became more like my own than fan-fiction. My brilliant mom suggested to me that I should try writing it out. Me being me, I shrugged and protested but finally sat down in front of my laptop and started to write.

The paragraphs that came out of my fingers were no…

New ideas


I've been writing this one book for two years now, and guess what? I'm still on the first chapter! This is what happened. I wrote 20 really short chapters that basically were telling three separate stories that had no connection whatsoever. I really want to write a trilogy, and the first book is supposed to be from the main character's perspective and only from her perspective. So, I took a 6 month break from the book before coming back and writing a new first chapter. I had changed the story a lot, changed how I wanted my heroine to get from point A to point B to point C, and changed the secondary characters. I liked it, but it wasn't right.

So I rewrote it again. I need this book to be as close to perfect as I can get it. This is like my life book. I'm basically writing my own story if I lived in a fantasy world. I couldn't get it to come out right, because I wasn't willing to change it into something more flexible and ultimately go for …

My Fantasy Names (girls then boys)



Awesome Pictures

These are all from artist Josephine Wall. She is absolutely incredible. Check out her website for more amazing paintings. I love almost all of her art. The colors, the shapes, the subjects, the fantasy, the magic, the glowing -

What Now?

So, I've kinda run out of poems, since I've posted more than one a day, and I haven't been writing them these past two weeks. I'm pondering on what exactly I should put up next. I would really like to have some contests for different types of poetry. I dunno what I could offer as a prize more than posting it up here and say how how the person is. I'll have to get the word out on Facebook and other places.

In the meantime, I've got this thing post that can count for today addition to a very poem-based writing blog. I'll get some stories and story starts up here. Ooh! Awesome idea moment! I always love cool names, so if you have an idea for a character's name, please comment. I haven't got much more to say other than that, so I'll close and post something tomorrow if I can.

What You Are To Me

Whispered thoughts at midnight
Holding hands in the starlight
A hug for goodbye
The way you catch my eye
It's all this and more

Every touch, every word
You make smiles fill my world
Everything you do
Everything you are
You make me love you

Secret smiles just for me
You mean everything to me
The sunshine in my sky
I feel like I can fly
It's all this and more

Every touch, every word
You make smiles fill my world
Everything you do
Everything you are
You make me love you

Arms wrapped around me
It's my favorite place to be
Such sweet embrace
The way you touch my face
It's all this and more

I wrote this song for my friends(almost family) Christian and Victoria when they got engaged. They're married now, but I still think of it as their song. It even has music for it, simple, of course.

The Maiden Fair

The wind does whisper through the fair green woods
Where ever the violets do grow
And forth went a maiden to gather said bloom
Where breezes gently do blow
Skipping she went fair as a rose
Off to a vale she while singing
There she found to heart’s delight
The beauty of purple blossoming
And back home again to weave with her flowers
To make lovely crown for her hair
The vale left behind sighed in pleasure
As off went the maiden fair

This was supposed to be a kind of folk-song for one of my stories. I don't think it's very good.

A Night For Dancing (Dancing With Faeries

It's a night for dancing
When the moon and stars are smiling at me
The grass is slippery beneath my feet
Rain has just come to wash nature clean

The river has risen and churns over the fall
When I shout it's still hard to hear myself
My laughter echoes with the mirth of happy trees
They shake their leaves dry in the wind

It's a night for dancing
When the forest is quiet and still
All creatures are asleep in their beds
Watched over by the dusk turning to dark

The air is still for a moment
Then it whirls around me
Pulling the ribbons from my hair
Tugging at my dress for a dance

It's a night for dancing
Dancing with the faeries
They whisper in their hollows
They sing from the tops of trees

It's a night for frolicking
For tip-toeing through the glade
When the mist of twilight floats over the ground
Moss makes it soft for your feet

I have always wanted to see the faeries
I see the sparkles from their magic
I hear their silvery laughter
Once I even touched a faerie's…

Life Is ~ The Stones Under My Feet

Life is the stones under my feet
All the places I've walked
All the places I haven't
They say something about who I am
The pebbles that I pick up to toss in the ocean
The boulders I've sat on
The skipping stones I throw across the lake
Gravel and sand
And cobblestone streets
Places with history
Places where history is about to be written
And what it has to say for my history
All those stones that I've crunched
Under my boots
Or sandals
Or sneakers
Or just my bare feet
Walking carefully
And there occasionally is a piece of glass
When I cut myself I bleed
But I heal in the end
Then I get up to walk on more stones
Because life is where you choose to walk
And where you don't

Life Is ~ The Color of Your Eyes (for Shannie)

Life is the color of your eyes
The way they shine at me
When you laugh or when you cry
Your blue eyes
Like Saturday skies
With a touch of clouds
And we lay in the grass in summer
Contemplating the meaning of life
I see your eyes above me
In the color of your eyes
They tell me you love me
They tell me it's all right
Everything is not always okay
But with you, it is
I see those blue irises that dance in the light
And the burdens can lift from my shoulders
The sparkle of joy when we dance in the rain
The downcast of grey when you experience sadness
And then I am there for you
Life is the color of your eyes
Because you share it with me

Just Take Me Away

Just take me dancing
Get me out of here
Take me away from this house
And its familiar atmosphere
I want to find a sunny day
Bring me to a quiet place
Where we can dance together
With sun shining on my face

Just take me dancing
Give me some fresh air
Turn me loose
And I'll let down my hair
I want to find myself
Where I make this a happy day
Take me to the open fields
Before I fade away

Just take my hands
Lead me and I'll follow
Give me strength
To make it to tomorrow
In that quiet place
Where nobody talks
Time just disappears
With the ticking of the clock

Just take me dancing
Just take me away
Give me a place
Where I won't fade away
Someplace I can stay
There I will find my sunny day

I am a Dragon

I am a dragon
I am lightning and fire
I am the soul in the wind
I am silent
I am a roar
I am stone and water
I am cloud and dust
I am majesty
I am thunder with wings
I am silver
I am gold
I am clay
I am diamond
I am a dragon.

Night and Morning (Out My Window)

I looked out my window
And gazed at the stars
They shimmered and glowed
Although off so far
I reached out my hand
As if to caress
Before I reached back
And laid down to rest

I closed my eyes
And fell into sleep
Dreamed of summer skies
And birds that peep
The breezes that rustle
Through the trees
And the bustle
Of busy honeybees

I awoke next morning
And saw the sunrise
Rosy light cavorting
Across the pale blue sky
I stretched and arose
And kissed the new air
Peeked out my window
Wind played with my hair

Which is more lovely
The night or day?
Which deserves more loving
I cannot say
I love how sun
Smiles with light
But I love how the moon
Kisses me goodnight

Whether asleep
Or if I am awake
I gaze and dream
At stars or dawn break
Both fascinate me
Both have their charm
Night is cooling
Morning keeps me warm

I looked out my window
And gazed at the sky
The blue was deepening
Time to close my eyes

I close my eyes

What I Won't Ask You

Were I to ask you to dance
Dance with me under the moon
Nobody's watching
Just the stars in the sky
What would you say?

Were I to ask you to walk
Walk with me along the dry creek bed
Nobody's watching
Just the crickets in the grass
What would you say?

It would be a different feeling
Something before never expressed
A leap, a jump
A stuttering sentence
That I try to tell you with all of my heart

Were I to ask you to climb
Climb with me up to the clouds
Nobody's watching
Just the birds in the trees
What would you say?

This is a place we've never reached
Something never indicated
A tiny smile, pressing hands
A timid word
That I try to tell you with all of my heart

I won't ask you to dance
I won't ask you to walk
I won't ask you to climb
It would change us
The way we are

I'll just keep our words safe in my mind
Not clutch them in my heart
I don't want to kill our love
Our love so innocent
Pure, the way we are
You are just my brother
I'll keep you th…

Why I Write

If I write to inspire, do I really dare believe?
If it's only my opinion, do I still try to succeed?
If all I wanted was the pats on the back
I should take it all back
And go back
To the beginning

If I write to expand on a point, do I really think what I say?
If it's only my fingers venting on the keys, do I really want to stay?
If all I want is to get out
I should back out
And head out
To another place

If I write to share joy, do I really feel that joy inside?
If it's only an act, do I really need the exercise?
If all I wanted was to give a fake smile
I should take back the smile
And smile
For real next time

If I write because the Spirit is in my hands
I write to give encouragement
I write to share the blessing
Share the peace
If I write because joy and inspiration are in my fingers
Then I write with a purpose
Write with a reason
I write to give meaning
To those endless every days
The endless same pace
The meaningless ways to fade

If I write because He tells me to
Then I …

Words for a Poem

It's hard to force a poem
It's hard to find the words
When you most need them
When you're disturbed
It's hard reach the switch
Of the light bulb in your brain
When you're searching through
Your back files
For happy memories to block the pain
It's hard to pick up the pencil
And make the sounds come out right
Make the flowing lines of script
Echo back in the night
It's hard to give description
Of that single thought in time
When the words came through so fast
Then they've gone from your mind
It's hard to catch the shadows
That creep in your dreams
The subtle hints of color
Like coffee and the cream
It's hard to find the picture
Of what you want to say
When the words that you're looking for
Just seem to fade away
Right when you set your hands
Upon the empty page
Your fingers want to roll with feelings
But instead there you sit
And stare
And age

An Abstract Life

Broken and covered with blood
Ashes floating like tears over the embers
Of the forgotten fire
Hands dirty
Soiled with shame and anger
Mud of past lust under fingernails

In between
The lies that seek to kill us from behind
The truth that tries to set us free in front
And the aimless shadows falling away
Heart-shaped pebbles ground under our feet
The skies black with dread
And dying dreams

Covered up
The scratch of the wool blanket
Dust and old china
The boxes and bins of lifeless furniture
Waiting to be used again
In the attics sitting cold
Dull mirrors with stories to tell
Ones you don't want to hear

Worn down
The pages with ink in spidery hand
The cover torn
Threadbare socks on weary feet
Swinging door creaks on rusty hinges
Snow falling off boots
As they stomp and try to find warmth

And you find that the fire's gone out
No more wood
You shiver in the empty house
With mud of past lust under fingernails
And dying dreams
Stories you don't want to hear

It's just t…

This World Here

Are you happy living here in the desolation?
I'm not
This world with darkened skies
The bluff we wear as our disguise
To hide the shame that blinds our eyes

Are you happy living here in destruction?
I'm not
The battle that we fight in blood
Surrounded by spectators' mud
And covered over by the flood

I'm not happy living here in this waste
This struggling, dying, gruesome place
I want to shout out for a better land
For in the end that what I'll have
I'm carried in the Savior's hand

Are you happy living now in separation?
I'm not
This world that teaches us no fear
In the shadows lust is near
The groping hands of temptation are here

Are you happy living now with speculation?
I'm not
What will happen in the end?
Will you be betrayed by your friend?
How next will life make you bend?

Jesus fights this battle
He's won the fight
He'll take you out of the night
Take us up to eternal light
Are you happy living here in endless sorrow?
Find Jesus, he&#…

You Are Like Summer - for Shannie Girl

Ripples are like clocks
And daisies are like spots of sunshine
Fireflies are like glimpses of hope
And blushes on your cheek
Like the first rose that opens to the heat of June

A summer sky is like happiness
And a full moon is like perfect pearl
Sapphires are like your eyes
And the glint of mischief that sparkles
Like a light on a stream betrays ordinary stones

Books are like doors
And blank pages like new mornings
Hummingbirds are like children laughing
And the touch of your fingers
Like the touch of petals on my legs in the meadow

It Doesn't Matter (just wrote this)

It doesn't matter about expectations
Forget about previous failures
Or limitations
This is too big for hesitations
Reach out
With falling comes realization
Knowing what you have and are
Gives you reason for celebration
God does the rest
You are his creation

It doesn't matter what people tell you
This a thorn bush you have to push through
A knot of lies you have to undo
Remember who made you
How you were frail
How you grew
How you would fail
How you knew
He was the one to save you
He gave you love and mercy too

It doesn't matter what is your perception
This world has so many deceptions
They'll kill you with clever conceptions
First they treat you with affection
Like you're an exception
But it's all fake and soon
You'll face rejection
Cast out of their collection
Looking for a new direction

What matters is that God is amazing
Look how he's raising you back from the dead
You needed saving
So now you're praising
The King and Savior
Jesus, God, Holy Spi…

We Are (based on 1 Peter 2:9)

There is a difference
Inside of you and me
A flame of holy spirit
Our responsibility
There is job for those of us
Who have been given life
We are to be ambassadors
For those who live to die

We are a holy people
Standing out in the night
We are to be the beacon
Leading the lost to the light
We are to raise the banner
So all the people can see
We are to be the soldiers
Setting the captives free

This is the mission
That God left for us to do
Hold the ones who struggle
Bring them to the truth
We are to face the world
With Jesus at our head
Demons will flee before him
Leaving us with the dead

We are a holy people
Standing out in the night
We are to be the beacon
Leading the lost to the light
We are to raise the banner
So all the people can see
We are to be the soldiers
Setting the captives free

Will we continue to fight
Against the rising darkness?
Will we resist the devil's ploys
And refuse to be marked?
We can withstand any trial
With the help of our Lord
He has already freed us
Now …

Falling Down is Falling High

Did I ever think before
That the one thing that would keep me from dying
Should be not climbing high
Or searching, dreaming or finding a way to fly
The one thing to make me strong
Stronger than I could ever be on my own
Would not in my way or up ways or sideways
But only by putting aside offered crowns
Only by falling down

Falling down
Though the darkness seems forever
Falling down
Though uncertainty clings like a fetter
Through the cold and wind
And voices that never end
You want to close your eyes
But by falling down
You are falling high

It's so hard to measure truth
And keep it in your pocket tied down so it can't come loose
All the things you want more
Burning your hands on the key of the door
The entrance to paradise
How could I ever think twice
And look around to this way and that way and other ways
Oh please throw away all past crowns
Open the door and fall down

Falling down
Though the darkness seems forever
Falling down
Though uncertainty clings like a fetter
Through …

Give It Back

I'm failing
but I won't 
give it back
give it up
I'm falling
why can't I just
give it back
give it up

I'm losing
cause I won't
give it back 
give it up
I'm refusing
yes I am to
give it back 
give it up

I'm too stubborn
to ask for help
when I need it
I'm too proud
to grip the hand
when I feel it

I keep ignoring all the signs
I'm walking blind
killing time
when really I'm just killing myself

I need to give it back
need to give it up
take the hand that wants
to help me back up
need to give it all back
give it all up
I live life better
I'm in His hands

I'm toughing 
it out
won't give it back 
give it up
I'm bluffing
really gotta
give it back
give it up

I'm wanting
in need to 
give it back
give it up
I'm haunted
by the desire to
give it back 
give it up

I'm too stubborn
to ask for help
when I need it
I'm too proud
to grip the hand
when I feel it

I keep ignoring all the signs
I'm walking blind
killing t…

Give You My Heart

What am I Lord?
That you give me that which is yours
What am I Lord?
That you make me as reborn
I am nothing, I have nothing to give
Save my heart

I’ll give you my heart
I’ll give you my soul
With all my strength, Lord
I’ll give you my whole
To be used by your will Lord,
To be used in your plan
Here I am

Take me as you find me,
Keep me strong
Take me as you find me,
With you I can
Do anything that you see fit to bring about
In you my Lord,
I can have no doubts

I’ll give you my heart
I’ll give you my soul
With all my strength, Lord
I’ll give you my whole
To be used as you will Lord
To be used in your plan
Here I am