Showing posts from May, 2014

Telling a Story

It's always an adventure, telling a story. You have the picture of it in your mind, you can see the characters just as they are, not just their looks or actions, but the distinct traits and emotions that fuel their actions. You can see the house where they live, whether it be rugged or ramshackle or ostentatious. You see the characters and how they live. Russell lives on one side of the park and Nancy on the other, and perhaps Nancy has lace curtains, so when Russell stands out below her window, he can see her moving before she peeks out and sees him. And he sees something of her, and the audience sees something through his eyes, something the writer already knows, because they would be intimately acquainted with those characters.
    People don't really write of what they don't know, or that's not how they start off. You have to find something of value, something that the audience will find valuable, and you have to be familiar with it. There has to be a genuine aspec…


Everything is hurried and my hands are made of steel
Everyone is empty and cannot heal Everything is moving at the speed of sound
Everyone is plunging straight through the ground All the cars are useless, all the airplanes walk
All the pigeons scramble before they are crushed
All the people worry and laugh and sigh
All the people know is how to die Everything is dying and my heart is made of stone
Everyone is trying to get their feet back home
No one knows the way, no one knows the cure
Everything is dirty, unkempt, and impure

Just another heartbeat

There's something in my heart that beats for you
Something in me stirs and hopes and moves
I don't know what it is
Or how it works
But when you're in pain
I feel your hurt   There's something in my heart that grows for you
Something inside me strives to improve
I know it was the Gardner
Who planted the seed
And when you cry for love
He's all you need   There's something in my heart that beats for you
Something in me longs to love the truth I know that you are worried
He won't want you
But if he can love me
He will love you

How It Feels to Hurt

I forgot how it feels to hurt.
I forgot how much it hurts to feel.
I spent eight months not hurting.
And not healing.
I forgot the taste of pure bliss.
I forgot the despair of waking up in darkness.
I was never really depressed.
I was never really happy.
My heart was beating inside my chest, but my blood was just red liquid that carried oxygen to my brain so I could continue existing.
The air that traveled through my lungs was just a way of not dying.
The sun never touched my bones.
The clouds would hover as mist over my skin and keep me shivering.
Sunsets? A beauty that passed through my eyes and documented on Instagtam, without any true appreciation for the depth of colors I always seek.
Or used to.
I talk about feeling all the time.
It's therapeutic, I guess, to talk about something you once had.
Okay, my emotions weren't totally gone.
It's not like medication can remove the serotonin and dopamine batteries from my brain.
It can lock them up and hold the emotions at b…

Another "this is who I am" song

I am still who I am
Still always swimming on dry land
Still making my own crazy plans
I haven't changed - this is who I am

I know I've been away
Been away and making changes
I've been learning how learn
And live and love, and crash and burn
I get it, I am not the same
No longer living like it's yesterday
I face the moments darling, can't you see
I wanna make my mark on history

But inside, still a girl just learning to fly
And when I come home, I'm still me in grown-up clothes

I am still who I am, [who I always was]
Still trying to swim on dry land, [because]
I am still that crazy girl, 
Always hiding from the world
I haven't changed who I am inside
I am who I am! 

In all the ways that count
I am still the same
And all my secret doubts
They are still the same
Maybe I've grown up
Or maybe still just little me 
Wondering who the hell I'm going to be

I am still who I am
Still trying to swim on dry land
Still making my own crazy pland
I haven't changed - this is who I am!