Nonsense Stories [post transfer #4]

My name is Edward and I have a boring story to tell.  Can you pass me some Edward?  But they were out of Edward, so they could not read all the apple stories.  Unfortunately, all the apples had worms.  The worms were cannibals and ugly so he ran away to the bacon store.  But the bacon store had no bacon.  "Let's try the potion store!"  In the potion store, they saw Christopher Walkin.  They however did not say "hello" to him because they only believed in death and destruction and bombed everything.  But all the bombs missed their targets.  I wanted to say they all lived, so I did say it.  They're alive!

The End.

Zoey was a very grumpy hedgehog.  She was disappointed because all of her herbs were gone.  But no worries, she knew she could steal some more.  The blood splattered all over her ballgown jeans!  She was ruined, everyone would think of her differently from now on.  So she went to live on the moon.  She had a purple tent backpack so she could go exploring.  She set out on a great adventure and after two days, she ran into Batman.  But it wasn't the real Batman!  It was his brother who had no idea where the real batman was, because he was caring for their elderly mother in Madagascar.  The elderly mother was a madwoman.  Her name was Ruth.  She liked to make quilts upside-down.  She made 12 quilts and made a youtube video about crickets to get her son through college.

The End.

One day after school, Jimmy met up with Darlene.  But he saw that she had been slaughtered by a pack of beavers.  The beavers knew fatherlessness was common in their breed, leaving the sisters to raise the young.  The beavers went on to have a good log to eat cheeseburgers and waffles.  Then a giant purple people eater jumped out at them.  It yelled "go away from here!"  And so Jimmy and Darlene quit school and joined the circus of albino squirrels.  But the squirrels rebelled and overthrew the American government.

The End.

The jungle was empty and no one knew how to cope with the nasty snake king who had rabies.  It was too dangerous to fight off his bad temper.  No one was happy because he stole all the candy in rage.  Then he left to go to Norway.  When he arrived, the whole village of gumbies came out to meet him.  He suddenly had a flashback of his days at the academy…and his good friend Frank Sinatra.  But then he remembered that Mr. Sinatra had run away from home and was missing.  "Maybe the peanut butter jar provides answers."  So sure enough, they found the answer in the jar.  The answer was: 42.  Luckily, it was Jim's day off so he still got to watch football.

The End.

Long ago in a space village there was a purple monkey.  The monkey's name was Frederic Zebo II.  He was the captain of the starship Zagoth.  But his ship had no steering wheel.  I can't describe what happened next.  Just kidding, the ship crashed and everyone in it had a great bounce.  They crawled out of the ship and saw a rubber duck army sergeant.  This sergeant was the greatest duck in the force and an expert marksman.  But the duck had lost his arms/wings in battle and was confined to a wheelchair.  I wish social workers took care of him from henceforth on, but the government budget was slashed and he lived in solitude.

The End.

One day, Hamilton got an idea; he wanted to be the first man to eat a whole planet.  The first step would be to steal the great inventor Bussly's shrinking potion.  So he went over undercover to the all-purpose potion shop.  But the potion shop knew he was coming and plotted to kill me.  "Why?!"  I squealed.  Why is the real question here, too bad no one ever actually found out the answer.

The End.

On that fateful day, Waldo forgot to wear his striped shirt.  This was the worst mistake he could make, for now he would be found!  He dunked himself in ginger ale to hide from the wolves.  Wolves had gingers but adore mini pastries.  Wolves also enjoy a fine cup o' tea every now and then and some other time that isn't now.  Such as Wednesday or, "the day that the world imploded into a black hole."  It was all over the news, and everyone was talking about it.  No they weren't, they were yelling about it for ever.  Eventually, the wombats interceded.  Then the marshmallows invaded and it all went dark.

The End.

The golden brown lion named Harry was on a long, perilous journey.  Suddenly Lucy and Peter showed up!  "Get out of my house!  I can't afford child support!"  Everyone laughed because he/she wouldn't support dat child.  They sold the kid to the monks and changed his name to Daedelus.  Daedelus decided to join the chess club.  But there was no chess club 'cause the lalaland infiltrated their notes.  And they all had "Kiss You" stuck in their heads forever.

The End.

So we aren't interested in the truth that makes the snow globe community work.  The snow globe community are a very proud people group.  There were so many snow globes that they spun around until they travelled in time.  They travelled back to the days of yore.  But they didn't know what "yore" meant so Grace explained to him what "yore" meant 'cause English is hard, Evan.  Which settled everything.

The End.

So I ran away from the carnival.  Why are we starting with a "so?" as if we had somewhere to go.  But they did have some place to go, they were going to Taco Bell in search of the meat nose.  They found it in the Egyptian statue.  And it was everything they hoped and dreamed for.  So they slept under the stars.

The End.

Down in the mines of Moria, Steve the narwhal searched for his girlfriend Stacy and her cat.  Steve searched the cupboards, the trees, under the rocks, and next to the cheese.  Then he remembered it was on the old man's head!  "Can you even do that in the republic of Cincinnati?"  They weren't allowed, so the angry mob decided to stare because there were no "angry mob supplies."  Afterwards, they had tea and crumpets.

The End.

Sir Francis, the pen, decided to travel to the other side of the writing desk.  He met with his friend Petey the pool cue.  Unfortunately, Sally sticky notes couldn't make it.  She had to stay home because she had a paper cut.  Then her finger fell off.  "Oh dear.  No more slicing unless you oldenize a fanfare."  But they couldn't, and no more slicing occurred.  Instead, they ordered Chinese food.  And the Chinese turned they all into not so super-heroes.

The End.