Getting Dizzy [Post Transfer #3]

Things keep happening around me like I'm stuck inside a teacup.  I'm this tipping cup of tea and the world keeps whirling by and everything is happening without me.  It'd be nice to jump back in, but I'm not quite sure how.  It's like getting off the spinny thing at the playground.

You spin around faster and faster and it feels great because you're inside this bubble and maybe people are talking to you but you can't quite catch a good look at them so it's just easier to ignore them.  Then eventually you do have to get off.  You have to hang on tight while you get off, 'cause you are apt to fall over (which I did.)  If you're lucky, somebody catches you and helps you keep your feet while your head remembers which way is up (which I did.)

But back to real life, I'm just sure quite how to get off my spinny ride and plunge back into the lives of all the people around me.  It's very odd.  And I'm not trying to be too terribly deep here, I'm just musing.  I do a lot of musing these days.  Dad comes home on the weekend and says, "How many words did you write this week?"  And I get to tell him, "None," because I can't seem to conjure up the part of my brain that is so passionate about writing.

I'm a writer.  I am.  I'm a story-teller.  It's just that those stories that I think I want to tell are stuck somewhere under lock and key, or under some shelves that fell over, and I'm not Spider-man so I can't just heave them up and retrieve the pages.  Plus I dunno where those pages are, so...

ARGH!  It is SO frustrating to want something so bad and not be able to find it in yourself.  None of my writing funks before were like this.  Before, I'd not write, but then I'd ramble and bumble and spout stuff on facebook and everything would be fine again.  THIS is very weird.  And Dad even seems to have faith in me.    I can't let him down.  It's bad enough I can't be a traditional artist or work at sketching and perspective and shading.

This stucks.

Mom got me a new hoodie with a fuzzy hood.  It's cream, plum and grey plaidish.  It's cool.

I've been playing on Wizard101 again.  And watching Final Fantasy XIII the movie version because I like it. And there's apologetics club today!  I am so happy.  My salvation has returned.  Woot!  And hey, Doctor Who tomorrow!  This is great!

Also my little cousins are here.  I wish I could be the person who delights in little people that you're related to and just has fun with them.  But after a while, I just want to go away and be on my own.  I'm a terrible older cousin.  Okay, bye.

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