Thought-words [post transfer #5]

I'm reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower."  It's a good book.  It's also got some things in it that I don't like too much, or at all and some things that are sad or creepy, but I am still happy enough to read it.  Some of the things that are said or done in the book are things that I have not experienced yet, but I will experience once I am out in the "big, bad world."  And if I don't know about these things before I get out there, I think I would be so shocked that I would shut up inside myself and maybe never want to come out.

I have read some other books that have shocked me.  Some of them I put away and did not finish.  The other ones I read until the end and then said, "wow."  I feel good that I read them because they taught me things.  Not things that I would need to know if all I ever did was sit in a cave and think about God.  But there are certain things in the world today that are so messed up.  If I wasn't warned beforehand, I think it would hit me too hard to not be affected.  I will be affected, but not as much as I would if I didn't know just had creepy people could be.

This sounds very bad, and it is.  It is also very sad.  I was thinking about how I couldn't write my stuff.  I want things to be perfect all the time, but that's just not realistic.  Instead, I should just write out my thoughts and let whimsy take me.  Then when something good and closer to perfect does come along, I can catch it and tie it down.  My ideas won't be just ideas, they will be words and not just thought-words, but words you can read.  That is what I want.  I want my thoughts to be words that people can read and then maybe those people will feel happier.

Except happiness is not my goal.  Blessings is my goal.  I'd like for people to read my thought-words and be blessed.  They don't have to feel happier after they read them.  Sometimes they might feel sad.  But if they can get moved on in the right direction where God would like them to go then that would be so much better than happy that happy can never compare.

"The Perks of Being a Wallflower" is not a happy book.  It is a real book.  It's a heartbeat book.  What I mean by that is the characters are so real, that you breath along with them.  Your blood pumps through your body to match the cadence in their book-lives.  Excited, depressed, confused, happy.  You breathe in with them when they are surprised, and then you breathe out when everything is okay.  It is a real-life story.  And it's not sappy; it's raw and emotional and full of heartbeats.

I like it, even though it makes me sad.  It makes me breathe differently.  That can be good.  It's good to breathe different ways sometimes so that you don't just see the world through the glasses that you wear.  I get to see them through Charlie's glasses, which are all different colors and heartbeats.  It's infinite.