Dialogue I'm proud of #1


"Do you want to cry?" Yoongi seemed to be the only one in the room, even though Jungkook knew Jimin was in his chair and Taehyung was still beside him.

"Why can't I?" Jungkook wiped at his face helplessly. "I need to!"

"Maybe you don't," Yoongi suggested. His voice was so calm.

Everything he said was in the same calm tone and it soothed Jungkook's nerves considerably. He was still vibrating with emotion, though.

"I always need to."

"Mm."

"I feel awful. If I can't cry, how do I make it stop?"

"You don't. You feel awful until you don’t."

"I don't want to feel awful." Jungkook's own voice was anything but calm and very small.

"Nobody wants to feel awful," Yoongi shrugged, fingers suddenly not drumming. "It sucks. Of course it does. But sometimes when you cry or punch something or whatever, you're not letting yourself actually feel what you're feeling. Sure, you let it all go, but do you acknowledge it? Sometimes you just have to be miserable and feel it all and let it drain away on its own. Nobody wants to do that. They want instant release. But healing is a process and misery is a part of it. It sucks," Yoongi reiterated, looking straight at Jungkook, "but it's necessary."

"It shouldn't be necessary."

"It shouldn't. The world is messed up. So it is."

"Oh." Jungkook sniffed. "But I don't want to."

"You can not want to and do it anyway."

"I guess."

The clocked ticked and then chimed, the hours ringing out solemnly in the lemon-ocean air. Jungkook remembered the candles and breathed in the smell, letting it wash through his bruised lungs.

"It hurts to breathe," Jungkook whispered.

"Yeah," Yoongi agreed, "it does that."

"Why does it hurt all the time?"

"Mental pain is hard to quantify. Physical pain is easier to explain or deal with. We feel our mental pain physically so we can explain it to ourselves and deal with it."

"Does it really get better?"

Yoongi suddenly smiled, a semi-Jimin smile that made the pressure in the room lift. "It does. It's not easy and the process is long and you can't completely get rid of it. But you can be better. You can be in charge, instead of your anxiety. You can make the rules, not your fears."

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