insomnia

It’s dark in here.
I like it that way.
I like it when the lights are off and the darkness gives me space. 
In the absence of shadows I play with the wall.
He tells me I’m okay and it’s okay to fall.
The lightbulbs I can’t see, they tell me to shut up.
They say to go to sleep, that sleeping is a must.
Their cries fall on deaf ears
But not ‘cause I can’t hear.
Sleep is just my nemesis of sorts, something I chase without reprieve,
Something I hunger for and desperately need.
But while I wait for my eyes to close and brain to shut down and my body to rest,
I’m quiet in the darkness.
Just me and my thoughts here.
And the cries of the lightbulbs
And the temptation of fear.
But it’s been years,
Years! Since the dark frightened me.
We’re friends now, and that’s good, since sleep abandoned me.
I never had it, really